Randy Johnson is growing breasts?

The tabloids claimed that same thing about Kenny Rogers 15 or so years ago. Why? Well, I guess because he was. Randy, on the other hand, is just pitching like a Hall of Famer at age 42. He's still got it...some of the time. Like last season, I'm sure that once the weather warms that old body will loosen up and he'll go on a mean streak. Or maybe not. (without anger) It's not certain. No, nothing is certain.

Any word on Pavano? Adam, who's available as far as trading goes? Let's get on the ball here, fellas.

-Steiner

PS: How about the Mets? They are 7 games up in their division! We're going to be hearing a lot out of this guy all season long if this keeps up. Raji, see you in the Series if not at the beach house!

The Wright Stuff

Jaret has really taken it where it counts since becoming a Yankee. Even though he did not pitch horrible tonight he really sets the tone for the game. It's almost as if the whole team can smell defeat when he is on the mound gnawing away on his chaw. Voiding his contract after this year will be the best part of his tenure with the Yanks.

On another note -- Sturtze is officially done and Proctor need not throw his rinky dink curve when he has the 95 mph moving fastball. Tonight's game was a perfect example of inconsistent hitting, sketchy bullpen and one bent over starting pitcher. Let's hope we can take Saturday and Sunday with Unit and Moose then off to Boston with Wang, Chacon and Small.

Steve Howe RIP

He was perhaps the most troubled ballplayer in history (I think 9 separate drug suspensions). I hope he had managed to turn his life around.

Bernie Williams

Friends,
A situation is definitely developing regarding Bernie. We seem to be approaching judgement day. He has been terrible. He has an OPS of well below .600. Should he be a full time bench player or does he deserve more time? Can he be an effective bench player? If he is destined for the bench, who should replace him?
True, Carlos Pena has hit some homeruns in the big leagues, but I would go with Cairo. Will another slugger who hits .240 add that much to the lineup? Cairo is a place-setter, and with a lineup as loaded as this one, that might be just what we need.
Thoughts?

-Steiner

Bad Losses

Gentlemen,

Last night we had yet another bad loss. I know it's still only April, but so far I can count three games that we should have come away with winning only to have them snatched from us at the last moment.

1) Our opening series against Oakland, where we lost the game off Scott Proctor's arm. This is not an egregious loss, but is stung nonetheless. This game reflected the weakness of our bullpen.

2) Our loss to the Twins, off of Mariano's arm, but mostly a result of bad defense. This is the game where Joe Torre showed fire and genuine anger to the press afterwards.

3) Last night's ridiculous game against the Devil Rays. This game was truly lost by terrible baserunning and awful at-bats by Alex Rodriguez. Don't jump to conclusions about Mo yet, I chalk up the blame to our offense here.

So there you have it, three examples of bad baseball played by our Yankees. We've got a long way to go until October, and a lot of room to succeed or fail along the way.

Bullpen

For all our bashing him earlier in the year, Scott Proctor has been pretty darned good this year. I'm not sure how comfortable I am with him as a set-up man though. I'd feel much more comfortable if Farnsworth got it together, as he has a little history of being a big time set-up man. It would also avoid the situation last year, where we had a 2 man bullpen and were completley screwed in the 6th and 7th innings.

AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM STEINER

Friends,
Over the past two days, the blog Steiner's Warriors has come under attack by rogues desperately attempting to undermine our Great Purpose. In response, I have instituted a series of emergency laws for your protection and the preservation of the cause. I have activated comment guards to protect you and yours from anonymous comments. I would like to assure all outside commentators, however, that any legitimate contributions you make will be approved expeditiously. We here at Steiner's apologize for any inconvenience in that regard, and welcome your continued participation.
Friends, since the start of the baseball season, Steiners has become a shit blog. This has result from too many failed attempts at humor and not enough interest in talking about the Yankees. If that is what is to be, it's surely not great loss to any of us. But I think the Yankees concept might be worth one more try.

That's all.

-Steiner

BREAKING NEWS: YANKEE FANS BLOG ABOUT THE YANKEES!

I love the Yankees and I love those who love blogging about them.

BREAKING NEWS: Giambi is simply amazing

Gents, Jason Giambi is showing his June form already and its still April.

I know its not easy to celebrate much, given the question marks about pitching (We have only three starters to be honest) and the nagging issues involving A-Rod and his inability to hit in "pressure" spots. But watching the games this weekend, not only did Giambi get the big hits, but he also got the big walks (especially the one he got in the bottom of the 9th on Friday to keep our hopes alive against Baltimore). Giambi is slowly showing his reliability. We've been thinking of him as a question mark for far too long. I propose we put Giambi in the "clutch" category. He comes to play every single day.

A MESSAGE FROM PATRICK GARRITY

The following was transmitted to me early this morning:

Statement from Patrick Garrity regarding "Mr. Steiner's Warriors."

A few weeks ago I was asked to join a blog with the moniker "Mr. Steiner's Warriors." While the offer was flattering, I felt that (given my usual October-only interest our country's greatest game), my inclusion would be a weakness, nay...a travesty of justice. Justice which the Warriors have earned with their wit, charm, knowledge, and respect...respect which I do not yet command, made clear by Adam Cohen's less than affable recollection of me.

Perhaps my actions would have been more professional had I known this negociation was to be made public. For this, I apologize and hope that God can forgive me. I made a mistake, and am not proud of what I have done. I can only hope that the game, the fans, Jason Giambi and especially the Warriors, can pardon my behavior. Over the next few months I'll be spending a lot of time with my family, going to services, and working on witty quips that Peter Gammons once said "could work for Jeff Brantley." Ultimately though, with the help of the big middle reliever in the sky, perhaps one day I may indeed join my hallowed brothers in the greatest single tribute to America, Jayson Stark, and the New York Baseball Yankees the world has ever seen.

As one of my true heroes Skip Carey once said, "Outside. Ball one...I'm going to get a sandwich."

Gentlemen,

-PMG

Posada

It's amazing. Posada is perhaps the worst baserunner in baseball. When he finally makes a couple of good baserunning plays, advancing to third on a fly ball, then making a fantastic slide into home, he gets hosed by the ump. Oy.

Stickin' It To Barry

In a stunning turn of events today, Barry Bonds may be under investigation by the FBI. Oh, Barry, oh Barry no.

Juice

Is Cano done?

Of course not. But this lousy blog needs something to talk about.

Word Of The Day

clutch:

adj. Informal

Tending to be successful in tense or critical situations: The clutch three run homer put the Yanks on top.

synonym: Derek Jeter

OPENING DAY AT YANKEE STADIUM

Friends, I know a 2-4 road-trip can take the steam out of your pumps, but don't despair. We have a three game stint at home against the KC Royals, whose offense is about as potent as Hugh Hefner without his blue pills.

In case any of you bastages care, Robinson Cano has a .714 BA against Joe Mays (no relation to Willie). Sure that's based on 5 hits out of 7 at-bats, but that's a nice number nonetheless. A-Rod, Jeter, Sheff and Matsui all have over .300 averages against this piece of AL pitching trash too. If anyone here has Joe Mays in the fantasy league, now is the time to bench him. You don't need to absorb the hurtin' the Yanks are going to exact on Mays today.

Here's Joe working that 12.46 ERA

Again, I reiterate that we are blessed to be Yankees fans. If you can swing it, find a place to watch the game. If not, hold fast! The Yanks are going to open up the 2006 season at home in style.

THESE GUYS STINK

Giambi is killing the Yankees and the Marvin Israelites.

The New York Yankees

The season has started, for those of you more interested in the Yahoo Fantasy League, and the Yankees are 1-2. But take heart, the 1998 season started 1-4.

-Steins

EXIT LIGHT! ENTER NI-IGHT!

In case you have not heard, there's a controversy among fans over which N.Y. closer is entitled to use Metallica's "Enter Sandman" as their entrance music. Billy Wagner, a part-time alpaca farmer, tells us he's been using the song since 1996. Mariano Rivera says he actually prefers latin ballads, but understands the fans love the song and associate him with it (and some very awesome memories too). Mo really doesn't care, as he is too close to God to get mired in these sorts of affairs, but he did have this to say:

"To the people who are fighting over this, I appreciate your loyalty," Rivera said. "I respect their decision and I love them. It's simple as that."

He loves those who love him.

I love him. So should all of you.

SOMETIMES PEANUTS, SOMETIMES SHELLS

JOE TORRE, A Discussion

Friends,
Joe Torre has led the Yankee charge since 1996, compiling four world championships and six pennants. Yet, few things create as much controversy in the Yankee caucus as the question of his legacy. While most like him, more than a few think he's an overrated bump on a log. Let us settle this question once and for all.

Joe Torre: Hall of Famer or To Blame for Fall?

-Steiner

Tino on Baseball Tonight

Tino is apparantly a regular on Baseball Tonight now. They showed a nice montage of his past accomplishments to introduce him. When the history is written, it could be said that the Yankee's dynasty began when he joined the team, and ended when he left.

BATTER UP!

In case you didn't know it, today is Opening Day. May this be a season of many baseball related debates, filled with anger and joy.

And looking towards October, sounds like one guy over at ESPN gets it right.

-Steiner