THE BIG BAD UNIT

Ok, folks. Randy Johnson apparently has a problem with Jorge Posada. Steiner posted this story in a "comments" section below, but it is important enough of an issue to be highlighted here as a separate item.

Is Randy Johnson the villain? I would have to say so. In putting his team first, "Father of the Year" needs to recognize that Posada's bat supercedes any personal issues. Stinnett is NOT a major league hitter. Mark mentioned earlier that it's important for Posada to get those days off anyway (I agree with that point), but Steiner's rebuttal is also valid: When it comes to the post-season, we need Posada and Unit working together. Instead, Unit is content to act like Posada plays for the cross-town Mets. For $16 million, we deserve better behavior out of Unit.

BREAKING NEWS: STEINER NAMES ST. CLAIR MANAGER

In a stunning turn of events this morning, Hagen's 7-Iron owner Steiner has named Angel St. Clair manager and plenipotentiary.
"I've got confidence in Angel, because he's got confidence in the Lord," remarked Steiner. "Ortiz, Tejada, these guys love the fire and brimstone stuff, and Angel's been preaching over at Abington Penecostal since he was three years old. Giambi tells me that he had my fiancee Marie speaking in tongues just last night. It's great to hear she's finding a spiritual side."
"When you believe in Him, He will lift up the batted balls and the keep the gloves firmly down, when you believe in Him!" said St. Clair to the assembled team this morning in a melodic cadence. "When you believe in Him, He will keep the OPS up and the WHIPs down! When you believe in Him, say it with me now!"
Not all players, however, were as enthusiastic about St. Clair.
"To be honest, I'm skeptical," said newly acquired Jason Kubel. "I mean, there were no legitimate witnesses to the resurrection. None." Kubel was quick to remark, however, that "St. Clair is one of the great baseball minds of our time."
St. Clair has yet to reveal his starting lineup for Monday, promising only that it will be "infused with Spirit" and "ready to beat Dodort and Beat Dodort's Team, as well as those other sinners and villians, so help Him."

BREAKING NEWS: CORPORATE SPONSORS PUSH MLB FOR SUPERFICIAL INVESTIGATION OF STEROIDS

Ok, we've been down this road before. Bonds used steroids, Sheffield used steroids, Giambi used steroids, blah, blah, blah. Now, MLB Commish Selig has cracked under pressure from fans (and media) and put the screws to Bonds for approaching and almost certainly passing Babe Ruth's HR mark. But Bud, ya knew about the juicin' for years, why now? Here's why:

"Also yesterday, MLB corporate sponsors Bank of America and Home Depot said they would not sponsor any marketing activities related to Bonds' pursuit of Babe Ruth and Aaron."

The immediate loss of sponsorship dough is one part of the bigger money picture. Obviously, Bonds passing Ruth will upset a lot of fans, but that does not mean there will be a mass abandonment of baseball by the millions who attend games and watch on television. However, doing nothing (which has been Selig's job-description during his tenure as Commish) has made matters worse. This is about baseball saving face. The minimal effort being put forth will actually succeed in placating the media and fans (and sponsors) into a renewed sense of security on this issue. That will keep the sponsors calm, and to be honest, that will be the best thing for the game in the long-term. In a couple of months, Selig will announce the end of the investigation at a press conference and he'll say "we conducted an independent probe, we did our part, let's now move forward from all of this."

For once, I agree with Bud.

Back to the Yankees

Folks, as much as the fantasy league has and will grab our attention this season, it's worth remembering why I waste so much time on this lousy blog.



Yankee Baseball 2006 begins in less than a week's time.

Any predictions on how the Yankees and their rivals will fare this season? Before ESPN gives their predictions on Sunday, let's give ours.

Swing away.

Pop Fisher Happy With This Year's Crop of Bums

Following this weekend's draft, skipper Pop Fisher was bursting with enthusiasm at the prospects for his team this year:

"My ma urged me to get out of this game. When I was a kid, she pleaded with me. And I meant to, you know what I mean? But she died."

One of the recent additions to the team this year is Jose Contreras, who ambled into the clubhouse unaware of the greeting Pop Fisher had waiting for him: "People don't start playing ball at your age, they retire!"

Concerned that half his team didn't speak english, Pop said very little at the team meeting: "Batting practice tomorrow, be there!"

Called out!

Wow, Beat Dodort's Team. I'm getting called out by a guy I've met once in my life. Truely that shows the power of my team.

Who got the best of it?

Let the Monday morning punditry begin.

Good luck, fellas

On behalf of my brother and myself, who will both be drafting from the same location in PA, we wish you good luck in tomorrow' s draft. We'll be looking for luck as well, as we plan on being drunk by eleven.

-Steiner

Adam no Stark

Adam, I'll give it to you. THAT is a funny team name.

News: Bonds' lawyers in court

Barry Bonds lawyers were in court today. Read all about it.

Money quote:

Bonds' attorneys sent a letter Friday to U.S. District Judge Susan Illston demanding that the writers, publisher Gotham Books, the San Francisco Chronicle and Sports Illustrated, which published excerpts of the book "Game of Shadows," be held liable for possessing and publishing "illegally obtained grand jury transcripts."

"The true victim is not Barry Bonds, but the sanctity and integrity of the grand jury process," attorney Alison Berry Wilkinson wrote.

Indeed.

BREAKING NEWS: GARRITY "NOT INTERESTED"

In a stunning turn of events, Dickinson alum and longtime "Friend of the Warriors" Patrick Garrity has declared himself "not interested" in any form of blog participation. Claiming much of the content "over the top," he declined Steiner's invitation for increased participation early Friday morning. Shortly thereafter, Steiner held a press conference, calling for a "prolonged period of mourning and reflection" and a "desire to make things 'good' again."

Jayson Stark is not a funny guy

I am all for off-color humor, I think some of you can attest to that from social events we've shared in the past. However, when one chooses to make a politically incorrect statement, please make it at least be funny. Jayson Stark, of espn.com fame, is making nobody laugh with his recent comments about the Cuban national baseball team.

REPORT: HAGEN'S 7-IRON A "SURE THING"

Boys, let the trash talking begin. When you get right down to it, I think you're all a bunch of villians who don't know the first thing about the glorious game of baseball. You might paraphrase Lupica or Gammons a couple of times a week, but that don't mean shit. Peter can't help you now, pallies.

On Sunday starts the first and final thrashing of all of ye by the best damn group of boys I've ever managed, the baseball club Walter Hagen's 7-Iron. I invite you all to gleefully participate in what will be a most quixotic journey for the whole lot of you jags.

-Steiner
Owner, Walter Hagen's 7-Iron

SORIANO GETTING SMARTER

The National's version of Critch_dog has at last come around. Good for him.

Boswell on Soriano

Tom Boswell, of the Washington Post, makes the best case against Soriano.

Money Quote:

"All sports have watershed moments. Baseball is at one now. The public is sick of stars whose bodies are inflated by steroids or whose egos are inflated by wealth. Barry Bonds is stuck with being the poster child for the former. Somebody, presumably Soriano's agent, Diego Bentz, should tell him that he doesn't want to risk becoming the $10 Million Man Who Wouldn't Move."

Soriano continues to be "Not Too Smart"

Our former second basemen continues to make a fool of himself for Washington.














"Not Too Smart"

BREAKING NEWS! Critchley joins fantasy league

They said it would never happen, but if the King of Rock and Roll and President Dick Nixon can be brought together, so can Critchdog and the fantasy league. I hope that Mr. Steiner will come back on board. Thanks for your patience everyone and on behalf of the Critch Doggies, I look forward to some healthy competition from my fellow GMs.

News: Red Sox sign Juan Gonzalez, Trade Arroyo for Pena

Over the past two days, the Red Sox did what the Yankees have not been able to do: Put together a decent bench. If Gonzalez is healthy enough to even get 150 abs in a reserve role, it will be well worth it. And Willy Mo has pop.

My bet is that we're shopping around for a platoon partner for Bernie Williams by late May.

ME, MIKE, AND THE FANTASY LEAGUE

Friends, one of our own--a man who presaged Tim Raines impressive 1998 campaign, establishing himself as a fine evaluator of baseball talent--has yet to join us in the Fantasy League. He has given neither rhyme nor reason, but that, friends, is good enough for me.

In my mind, as goes Critch, so goes the Country. I am hereby withdrawing from the fantasy league until Critch either signs up or gives cause for not doing so. I have so much faith in the man that if he decides not to join without explanation, then the league is too unspeakable to participate in.

I urge every one of you to join me in this obvious decision.

-Steiner

Pavano, Small to start season on DL, Yankees look to Erickson for salvation

Good article on the state of the Yankees rotation from the NY Post.

Fool's Gold Loaf

Sorry I was late to the dance on the Krispy Kreme burger...but those of you who know me know my answer...I'd eat one without hesitation...in fact, if I could I'd eat one right now. As far as the King and his love of the Fool's Gold Loaf, you can check out the story at: http://hemsidor.torget.se/users/e/eilert/food.htm

U.S. ELIMINATED FROM WBC

Mexico has defeated the U.S. 2-1. Time to focus on opening day, which is two weeks away.

Now you're livin' the "High Life!"

This "sandwich" is being touted in St. Louis as "Baseball's Best Burger." That's two glazed Krispy Kreme doughnuts wrapped around a beef patty with bacon and sharp cheddar. I want an honest vote on who would eat this thing. For the record, I'd give it a whirl. And I think I can vote by proxy for Gus and say "yeah" as well.

More on Barry

Another good article on Bonds from ESPN. This stuff is eerie.

The Wright Stuff

Great line for Jaret Wright tonight versus the Pirates. (3 IP 11 H 8ER ) Also great is his spring ERA of 12.91. Just outstanding! But wait, there is more good news about the starting pitching, Carl Pavano is possibly thinking about maybe throwing from near the top of the mound. Thank God for the April schedule. Oh, by the way...Opening Day is just three weeks from today.

Proof the WBC is bogus

A-Rod just got a clutch game winning hit against Japan. What better proof that the games are meaningless. There's no way that he gets that hit in a game that means anything.

BREAKING NEWS: BONDS USED STEROIDS!!!

Sports Illustrated has cracked the story. I am flabbergasted.

Seriously, though, should this guy me admitted into the Hall of Fame? Rose is banned for being a liar about gambling. This guy lied about cheating at the game itself. He intentionally sought to become the HR King through illegal and unsportsmanlike means. He does not deserve our reverence or our praise... he doesn't deserve to be in the Hall of Fame.

GOODBYE, KIRBY

What a sad day for baseball. Kirby epitomized the game. He didn't look like an athlete, but a ballplayer. He was all hustle and always seemed just happy to be there. And he was arguably the best player of his generation. I think we can all finally agree on one thing: He will be missed.

"They have three weeks to fix it."

What a bum. I hope the Nationals stick to their guns. I always thought Soriano was flat out stupid, but I didn't think he was a TO.

Read all about it.

Mark, the Nazis are coming... click the "chain."

"There is one great thing that you men will all be able to say after this war is over and you are home once again. You may be thankful that twenty years from now when you are sitting by the fireplace with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what you did in the great World War II, you WON'T have to cough, shift him to the other knee and say, "Well, your Granddaddy shoveled shit in Louisiana." No, Sir, you can look him straight in the eye and say, "Son, your Granddaddy rode with the Great Third Army and a Son-of-a-Goddamned-Bitch named Georgie Patton!"

Mark, click the "chain"... do it for Planet Earth!!!

Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!" We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!

- President Thomas J. Whitmore

Mark, click the "chain"

Mark, here is the interface. If you click on the picture and look closely you can see a little box in yellow that says link. The chain is right above it. It goes font (drop down), size (drop down), bold (icon b), italic (icon i), text color (icon t), and then the chain. You should see the chain mark. If you click the "chain" a box will come up. Then you just type the link in. Trying clicking the "chain," Mark.

If Al Leiter was a movie-star, he'd be a Scientologist

And A-Rod would be the Tom Cruise to his Travolta. Read this fluff piece.